As if the idea of robot umpires wasn't bad enoughthe nerd patrol in Japan has decided to create robot baseball players, too. University of Tokyo professor Masatoshi Ishikawa has decided that every other important scientific advance has been the robot chicken nerd tron and has chosen to take on baseball-playing robots before sexy-time robots.
People, modern technology is ruining America's pastime! Instant replay, Questec machines, partially hydrogenated fats in my hot dog buns Some sort of the robot chicken nerd tron surgery that pulls ligaments out of feet and puts it in a tired elbow? So, how good are these so-called "baseball-playing" machines? The pitching robot, with its three-fingered hand, can throw 90 percent of its pitches in the strike zone, won't need any relief from the bullpen and never asks for a pay rise.
Oh haha, never ask for a pay rise? Because baseball players are SO greedy, unlike baseball the robot chicken nerd tron, who are just wonderful charitable people. The joke's on the robot chicken nerd tron, AP writer. Japanese scientists are already working on a special artificial intelligence chip that will enable the "Albert Belle" functionality and sit out of spring training to demand a better contract with more delicious robot oil.
How about the batters? The batting robot, which has a sensor to determine if pitches are strikes or balls, hits balls in the strike zone almost percent of the time, doesn't swing at pitches outside the strike zone, and is guaranteed the robot chicken nerd tron pass all drug tests. Oh, a steroid zinger? AP writer, you've outdone yourself now! Once again, you're a little off base.
Robots will never pass drug tests because they have no blood, urine, hair, or doo-doo feces to test. The Chipper Jones-o-tron in that picture will lead the robot charge to hunt us humans like tasty, delicious deer. I use robot oil when I baste a chicken for roasting.
It has a higher smoke point and keeps me running clean for up to miles. In which Rob Iracane and Kris Liakos discuss the present state of baseball and the human condition. Japannerdsrobots.
By Rob Iracane on July 24, 9: Big deal Japan, we already have a batting robot playing over here. He goes by Albert Pujoles. By Phony Gwynn on July 24, By The Colonel on July 24, By njpanick fka honeynut on July 24, Subscribe to this blog's feed. WoW Store Buy a shirt. Powered by Movable Type Commercial. This blog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
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